How to manage your boss (without getting fired)

Telling your boss what's not really working in your professional relationship? It's not exactly on anyone's bucket list. But a little honest feedback can go a long way – if you know how to deliver it. It’s part of a skill that’s often overlooked but incredibly useful: learning how to manage up. Here's how to say what needs to be said, without burning bridges.

First off... what is “managing up”?

“Managing up” simply means building a better working relationship by understanding what your boss or manager needs – and what you need to succeed. Think of it as your secret weapon for better collaboration, fewer frustrations, and a smoother ride. And yes, that includes giving feedback. Even the tricky kind.

Why feedback matters

We all have blind spots, and your boss is no exception. Maybe they think they’re being super clear, while you're reading between 43 lines. Maybe they’re micromanaging simply because no one ever told them it’s killing your motivation. Maybe they're genuinely unaware their “quick check-in” meetings derail your deep work every single time. If you never speak up, nothing changes. But if you do, chances are they’ll appreciate the input – if it’s done right.

How to do it right

Upward feedback isn't easy, but it's not impossible. It all comes down to timing, tone, and a bit of strategy.

1. Timing is key

Catching your boss right before their third coffee or five minutes before a deadline? Not ideal. Choose a moment when they’re not rushed, distracted, or in full firefighting mode. Better yet: ask for a one-on-one and let them know you’d like to share some thoughts on your collaboration. Framing it as “how we can work better together” makes it less about criticism and more about mutual benefit.

2. Feedback ≠ attack

You’re not roasting them. You’re not calling them out. You’re doing something that's best for both of you. Think of feedback as a gift: it should be useful, well-wrapped, and delivered with care. Start with what’s working and mention a few things you appreciate. Then transition into what could improve. Use “I” statements:

“I feel like I lose focus when meetings aren’t structured.”

“I sometimes find it hard to understand the priority when I get multiple tasks at once.”

This keeps the feedback grounded in your experience, not in assumptions about their behavior.

3. Know your boss

Not every manager responds the same way. Some love directness, while others prefer a gentle nudge. If your boss is a spreadsheet warrior, give them examples and structure. If they’re more big-picture, keep it brief and stick to impact. The more you tailor your feedback to their style, the higher the chance it actually comes across.

4. Make it about work

This is not about personalities. This is about processes, expectations, communication. In other words: keep it professional, not personal. Instead of “You never listen,” try “I noticed my suggestions in meetings don’t always get a follow-up. Could we set aside time to review them together?”

Always connect your point to outcomes. Better communication leads to better results, and that’s a win for everyone.

5. Ask for feedback too

Managing up isn’t a one-way street. If you’re giving feedback, ask for some too: “I’d love to hear if there’s anything I could do differently to support your work.” This shows maturity, openness, and helps create a healthy feedback culture in your organization.

Bonus: it can make your boss feel more comfortable taking in your feedback, because it’s part of a two-way exchange.

6. Always keep it private

Even if you have the best intentions, giving your boss a reality check in front of others is a no-go. Feedback, especially upwards, belongs behind closed doors. It protects your relationship and keeps things constructive.

7. Draft it, don't dread it

If you’re nervous, write out what you want to say. You don’t need to read it word for word, but having clarity beforehand will help you stay on track. And if a live conversation feels too risky? Consider starting with a short message or email to test the waters.

This piece was inspired by a blog by our friends at House of Continu. Thanks for getting the conversation started!